Being attractive isn’t limited to our physical appearance. We can feel better about ourselves by creating standards of beauty based on our traits and gifts, and our compassion for others. (Estimated reading time: 3 minutes)
“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”
— Confucius
The standards of physical beauty has constantly shifted between era’s and cultures, yet there’s no denying that the desire to be meet those standards has continued to be a strong driving force in our world.
For this reason, the beauty and fitness industry are two of the most lucrative industries. Advertisers do their best to tap into our deep-seated desire to look attractive.
Powerful imagery and clever messaging are used to convince consumers that their services and products will give them luminous skin, luscious hair or a skinnier and more toned body.
Why are so many people easy prey for all theses manipulative and misleading claims to make us more physically attractive?
Because they believe it’s the only way to fulfill their most fundamental emotional need: the need to be accepted and to belong. When we aren’t convinced of our worth, it’s powerful driving force that causes us to look for cosmetic solutions.
All our lives we have been programmed to believe that the easiest way to gain instant approval is by looking good. Human beings are visual creatures, so this comes as no surprise. In fact studies have shown that we have a natural tendency to like someone or associate more positive qualities to someone we consider attractive than someone we don’t.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the desire to look good. I myself love getting glam’d up and critiquing celebrity outfits once in a while! The problem arises when we attach our self-worth to how much attention we receive from others based on our physical appearance.
If you suspect that it strongly influences you, you need to go within and so some soul-searching. Try to figure out where your insecurities originate from and how you can begin making a shift towards a healthier self-image.
The truth is that if you keep chasing aesthetic perfection to please others, you are never going to experience a sense of internal peace that comes from genuine self-acceptance.
We can’t control what others think of us and when something as fragile as your self-esteem is attached to something that’s completely out of your hands, you will always be in a constant state of uneasiness and anxiety. In other words, you become an insecure wreck!
To save yourself from walking down this path of self-inflicted pain, I want you to begin opening up to a new perspective on beauty and attractiveness.
Begin seeing authentic beauty as a result of three things:
- A genuine sense of confidence in our worth and our abilities.
- Treating others with kindness and respect.
- Shifting from our constant focus on ego-based desires to making a unique contribution to the world.
Truly beautiful people know that their beauty has nothing to do with how they look on the outside and everything to do with who they are on the inside. Their focus is not on getting more to feel better, but giving more so that they can make others feel better.
They are not walking divas with an air of snobbery and a sense of entitlement. They exude warmth and friendliness and look for opportunities to befriend and help others. Their humility and respect for people becomes apparent in how they conduct themselves with everyone that they meet from waiters to CEOs.
I’ve seen that truly beautiful women are kind, graceful and confident, not because of being driven by this need for acceptance, but by a need to bring happiness and joy wherever they go.
By working on cultivating these inner qualities, you radiate an inner beauty that no beauty product or service can ever give you.
All my best on your journey,
Seline
Question for you: What does being attractive and beautiful mean to you? What can you do to cultivate your inner beauty?
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Marie says
Brilliant article Seline. I myself wrote a post about self-realisation and personal growth on Natural News a couple of month ago. You may find it interesting 😉
SelineShenoy says
Hi Marie, I read your blog entry- very interesting! I love Katerine Kaputa’s books, I’ve read all of them. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
shobana says
The article was very good till the very end when you put that nice quote about beauty but then right next to it pictures of celebrities whose main job is external beauty. If there was a picture of Mother Theresa, Amelia Earhart, Hilary Clilton, and other strong women who have focus to other great things in their life I think it would served your purpose better. Anyways nice article!
SelineShenoy says
Hi Shobana,
Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it. You definitely have a great point.
The reason why I chose Angeline Jolie is because she is someone who is very beautiful on the outside but she did not allow it to define who she is (she has done a lot of work for the UN). In my opinion, being truly beautiful does not have to require a lifetime of humanitarian service but simple acts of kindness and humility that can be displayed by the modern woman with normal lives. It’s an attitude and way of being.
Hope that makes sense. 🙂
Dr. Bhanu Abohari says
Another good one, read something substancial after a bit of a hiatus. Keep up the good work!
mohit kumar says
I liked this. I definitely emotionally react. It’s usually with family members as they know the buttons to push with me. Then, bc I have reacted so emotionally, I am considered a complainer, one trying to start something, paranoid and one who over reacts.
Shime says
This is well-written article. Thank you Seline