“Charisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when you’re around.” – Robert Brault
Have you ever met someone who had the ability to instantly light up a room when they enter it?
Even without saying a word, they can own a room with their commanding presence and magnetic aura. Everyone that they meet wants to be around them and be part of their world.
What is the special star-like quality that these individuals seem to possess that attracts people to them like bees to honey?
The answer is one simple word: charisma.
In Urban Dictionary, charisma is defined as “having an undescribed magnetism that consistently draws people closer; usually it cannot be pinpointed or described.”
There has always been an air of mystery shrouded around the charismatic persona. Some people perceive charisma to be almost like a super-power that only a few lucky individuals are born with. Others think that it’s a result of having worldly power in the form of money, status or good looks.
The good news is that charisma isn’t dependent on either our natural predispositions nor our personal fortune. It’s a social skill that can be acquired over time with practice.
Contrary to what most people think, you don’t have to be bubbly and outgoing to be magnetic. Charisma can be just as impactful when expressed in a subtle and understated way.
What personal charisma absolutely does need is for us to maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves. We must strive to build an unshakable belief in our intrinsic worth and what we stand for.
Think about it – have you ever been impressed by a wimpy, indecisive and wishy-washy person? I don’t think so.
A charismatic person is solid and unwavering when it comes to their values and causes. Think of leaders such as Nelson Mandela, who maintained his stance when it came to apartheid, even when he was incarcerated.
He never once faltered in his ways, and when he finally had the opportunity to lead South Africa as president, he inspired his people with his compelling vision for racial integration and equality.
Unfortunately charm can also be used to influence others by individuals with bad and evil intentions. Hitler had a strong and formidable presence that allowed him to convince the Nazis to commit unthinkable atrocities to thousands of innocent civilians. By definition, one could call him charismatic, but he channeled it for a dark purpose.
Besides sociopathic killers, charisma can be misused by less harmful individuals, such as sneaky sales people, tricksters and people-pleasing socialites. Being aware about the common ingratiating techniques that they use will help you to pick up on their shady intentions from a mile away.
Remember that a genuinely charismatic personality always comes from a character rooted in the spirit of love and service. Growing your social prowess isn’t just for pushing your own agenda but it’s also an effective way to motivate others to support a worthy cause or creative endeavor.
With that being said, here are the secret qualities and behavior patterns that are displayed by some of the most charismatic individuals, which you can emulate during your interactions with others:
1. They always show up as the best version of themselves: Charismatic people have a high self-awareness and are adept at managing themselves. Because of their strong self-belief, they appear poised and confident to others, without any trace of arrogance. They are humble and do not feel the need to self-promote and dominate conversations to feed their ego. They deal with their issues behind closed doors with the people that they trust. In other words, they don’t air their dirty laundry in public. They show just enough vulnerability (such as sharing a humorous anecdote where they may have slipped up) to make them more likeable.
2. They shine the spotlight on others: The ability to make others feel special is probably the most defining trait of charismatic individuals. They are genuinely interested in everyone that they meet, and they demonstrate this by asking a lot of questions. They are empathetic and always try to find something that they share in common with the people that they speak with. They stay focused on their conversation partner and avoid distractions such as looking away or checking their phone. Everything about their demeanor makes others feel like they matter and that they’re special.
3. They are humorous and optimistic: Charismatic individuals are cheerful and have a buoyant disposition. They take on a light-hearted approach towards life and they make an effort to find humor in every situation. This doesn’t mean that they’re all stand-up comedians but that they’re willing to unleash their inner kid to come out and play once in awhile so that life doesn’t get too serious. All these good vibes makes them fun and pleasant people to be around.
4. They are excellent conversationalists: Charismatic people have mastered the art of conversation. When they’re not intently listening to others, they share interesting stories and facts about life, which they draw from their vast reserves of knowledge and experience. They speak about their interests with passion and purpose. They are quintessential story-tellers who communicate clearly and succinctly. They prefer to avoid engaging in low-brow topics, gossip and controversial issues that might offend others.
5. They display open body language: It’s been proven that a dominant part of our communication is non-verbal and that people pay close attention to your body language, especially on a subconscious level, when interacting with you. Charismatic individuals have an open and non-threatening body language that’s inviting to others. They smile a lot and maintain good eye contact when speaking with others. They also appropriately use the power of light touch to enhance their connection with others.
Ultimately, charisma comes down to your ability to express compassion and kindness towards others. If you tap into the naturally benevolent and generous aspect of your persona, you’ll be able to forge genuine and lasting connections with anyone that you encounter on your journey.
All my best on your journey,
Question for you: What do you believe is the secret to charisma? Is it something that you would like to cultivate within yourself?
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