We’ve all heard the saying that everything happens for a reason. Some believe it because they see their lives orchestrated by a benevolent higher force, while other’s don’t. They see the universe as an impersonal and random place. You can learn where you stand by doing some self-reflection. (Estimated reading time: 4 minutes)
“In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.”
— Carl Jung
“Don’t worry, everything happens for a reason.”
You’ve probably had someone say this expression to you at some point in your life. They may have said it to you in an endearing attempt to console you about a disappointment that you were facing. Something you really wanted to happen did not pan out the way you hoped it would.
The aftershock of the disappointment might have put you in an emotional fog, making it difficult for you to comprehend why things happened the way that they did. You may have lacked the objectivity and foresight to makes sense of anything in those immediate moments.
Even if your emotions were stable, the narrow perspective of your ego made it tough to understand the purpose behind your trials and tribulations.
For a significant part of my life, I’ve struggled to take a stand on whether the events that occurred in life really do happen for a reason or if they are all just random occurrences.
I kept oscillating between these two points of view, debating on our role and destiny’s role when it comes to shaping our life path. The scientific and logical side of me was at odds with my esoteric beliefs.
There’s a part of me that wants to believe in a magical and purposeful Universe – grounded in the belief that there is indeed a higher benevolent force that orchestrates the events in our lives.
This spiritual aspect of my psyche is convinced that the world is one big school in which every incident we go through is instrumental in our evolution towards self-actualization and deeper wisdom.
The other part of me is dominated by my inner skeptic, which insists that every occurrence is random and that we’re mere mortals being tossed around by cosmic tidal waves, eventually to be swallowed up for eternity.
The first perspective elicits feelings of comfort and safety. The latter engenders feelings of loneliness and desolation. It took long periods of reckoning with these polarities before I reached an impasse, realizing that there’s no point in stressing out about this improvable dilemma.
Ancient philosophers and scholars from enlightened eras have spent countless years pondering on both theories. Clearly, it’s a well-worn path. In the end, there’s no legitimate proof of the validity of either viewpoint.
It really comes down to which one we choose to believe in. It is a matter of personal choice and not necessarily seeking the Truth.
I choose to believe that my life follows a purposeful trajectory because this outlook provides me with an emotional cushioning that a life of faith typically provides. Faith is a paramount component of our moral ecosystem because it gives us the conviction to live our lives from a place of strength.
Multiple studies have proven that people with a spiritual bend of mind are considerably less prone to developing mental health problems and heart disease compared to their secular counterparts and experience less stress.
Believing in a conscious Universe and that everything happens for a reason also makes sense on a practical level. People who are convinced that we lead a random existence are more likely to miss out on crucial life lessons and invaluable clues that could potentially lead them to higher ground.
Their cynicism shuts them off from searching for the crucial underlying meaning and connectivity of events that occurs in their lives.
I want to make it clear that my intention in stating these points is not to influence you to subscribe to my thought process. This is a sensitive topic and highly personal to each individual, but whatever you choose to believe should feel right for you.
As a writer, my primary objective is to help my readers live more fully and consciously. I believe that sharing my own viewpoint on this topic might facilitate you in your own personal musings.
If you’re still on the fence when it comes to this issue, I’ve outlined a simple self-reflection exercise that might stimulate your own contemplation.
Step 1: Think of a challenging experience you’ve had in the past.
Step 2: Write down how you felt at the time.
Step 3: Where are you at this point in the same area of life?
Step 4: On looking back, how do you think that this event contributed towards your current circumstances? Do you see any obvious or subtle connections between your past and present?
Step 5: How do you make sense of the connections between the past and the present? What part did you play in it? What part did external influences play in it?
Whichever perspective you choose, ensure that you pick the one that inspires you to be a better person who lives on higher moral ground.
What ultimately matters is how we choose to show up in the world, and that we become a person of character with the intention of doing good in the world during our lifetime.
All my best on your journey,
Seline
Question for you: Do you believe that everything happens for a reason in your life? What influenced your choice on this issue?
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Alicia says
I truly believe everything does happen for a reason. I was a freshman in college and going to school the randomly one day in a bookstore ran into a friend I haven’t seen in years.
He was a bad influence and did a lot of hurtful things to me, but I was in love with this famous rapper and he lived in Atlanta. My friend wanted me to move their with him and I decided I would just before we went we were talking about what if I meet him or something and that eventually happend. When I got down their his dj contacted me asked if I wanted to see Future in the studio I didnt want to so I stopped writing him, then he was having concerts all around the city and I could have went, but didnt. Then randomly one day June 29,2011 he was having a concert at this real classy place with celebrities and said on facebook come so we went and they werent going to let us in until the lady saw me we got front row and Future came out and was looking directly at me as if he were in a trance. He took a picture with this girl at the concert who looked exactly like me everyone kept saying they thought it was me and then we left the concert.
While I was in Atlanta it felt like go was showing me my future and whats going to happen like a wedding ring house kids and stuff like that I ended up leaving because the person I was with was no good and god told me I had to leave that moment ,but I’ll be back soon. So 5 years have passed and Im moving back to Atlanta for my career and god put this into my heart because hes telling me it was meant to be and its going to happen.
SelineShenoy says
Alicia, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so glad you found the wisdom and strength to do what’s right for you. I wish you all the best!
Lovelle says
I’m SO glad to have found your website. I want to to thank you for this wonderful read!! I definitely will be back to read more. Keep them coming seline!
Susie says
I had a very strange thing happen to me recently. 30 years ago when I was a teenager my friend and I were in a youth club. Over time I developed a major crush on one of the boys in the youth club. He was friendly to me, but never asked me out. I was very shy. Anyway I knew him on and off for 6 years. Then I moved away from my home town.
Nowadays I work in a public library. A couple of weeks ago a lady came to the desk to ask to reserve a book. When I asked her name it was the same as the boy I used to like. A few questions later it turned out that this lady was the boy’s Mum. Amazing as we are 100 miles away from where we used to live. We chatted and as she went out I asked her to say hello to him from me and she said she would bring a recent photo to show me, after finding out which day I work (I work part time). Two weeks have gone by and I haven’t seen her again,although she has been in the library to collect her reserved books. So now I am at a loss what to think. Being reminded of the boy I used to like has brought back lots of memories and long forgotten feelings. But I can’t work out why she hasn’t been in the library except when I wasn’t on duty. Unless her son asked her not to.
So I am wondering exactly what the point of introducing her to me was, only for her to disappear again apparently avoiding me. If it was down to her son, then thoughts about that possibility have spoiled the nice memories that I had of him. And it has also made is awkward and maybe embarrassing for the lady. If there is a reason that this happened, I would love to know what it was!
SelineShenoy says
Hi Susie, thanks for your question. Could you please email me at seline@thedreamcatch.com Thanks!
Spike says
What a pleasure to meet someone who thinks so clearly and is truthful about her views. I’m interested in doing a blog collaboration. What’s the best way to contact you?