Financial success and enriching relationships make most people happy, but true satisfaction comes from pursuing a deeper form of happiness. You can reach this state by overcoming these three common blocks that prevent you from living life on your own terms. (Estimated reading time: 4 minutes)
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”
— George Carlin
What makes you feel successful?
Reflect on this question for a couple of minutes and then jot down your response.
If you’re like the majority of the population, your response may have included one of more of the following:
- Financial abundance
- Healthy and fulfilling relationships and friendships
- A peaceful state of mind
Most people today in our capitalist society would put financial abundance at the top of their list.
However, there are numerous people who don’t feel successful, even if they have material success. While financial security is an important aspect of success, the truth is that it’s not the only thing that people are after. There seems to be something else that they’re striving for.
The other day, I was watching a documentary on TV about the school that was built by Oprah Winfrey in South Africa. She personally hand-picks girls who come from impoverished backgrounds in nearby villages, who showed tremendous potential and an unusual zest for life.
When asked what her main intention is for building the school, Oprah said that she wanted to give these girls access to good education because she believes that is the key to freedom. She believed that getting an education will open the door for more options in their life.
“And that’s what I really want for them – to have options to choose from. To live life on their terms because that’s what true success is about – it’s about having options,” she said.
That comment gave me a breakthrough. I realized that genuine success comes from having options to create a life based on our own terms. This explains why the most severe penalty, besides death, for breaking the law is locking up a criminal in jail and taking away the privilege of free choice.
Many times, we find ourselves in our own self-created “jails” caused by the limitations in our circumstances. We have bills to pay, family obligations, and career pressures to tackle. We get so caught up in day-to-day living that building a life that we can call our own, becomes a luxury.
But no matter how restrictive your situation is, know that buried deep within you are seeds of potential that are waiting to sprout. When you nurture this seed by giving it fertile conditions, it will grow and flourish.
You have to first believe that your ideal life is possible, see it in your minds eye, before you manifest in your reality.
Some of the greatest visionaries in history had no problems doing this, despite being steeped in dire circumstances. No matter what challenges lay ahead of them, they were unwavering in their faith.
An excellent example of this is Martin Luther King Jr. He was a powerful leader who worked tirelessly towards the advancement of civil rights using non-violent civil obedience. His impact is indelible in world history because of his conviction to build the society he envisioned against all odds. His speech, “I have a dream”, is still considered one of the greatest in history.
It’s this kind of passion that will springboard us into taking action towards our dreams. If you’re finding it hard to find the drive to get the ball rolling, there’s a good chance that you’ve hit these three roadblocks:
1. You’re unclear about what you want: The best way to deal with a lack of clarity is by getting to the core our being and asking ourselves what is most important to us. This will require us to go within and take a look at what we value the most. I highly recommend reading my free E-book “The Fast Track Guide to Turning Your Dreams into Reality”, which has exercises that will help you in this process.
2. You’re afraid of what others will say: If you’re conscious of what other people might think if you focus on your interests and living life on your own terms, you’ll face difficulties in creating a life of your own. There’s no shortage of people who will tell us what to do and what not to do. It’s up to us to use our discernment in deciding who is worth listening to.
3. You believe that self-sacrifice is a noble act: Many people are raised to believe that self-sacrifice is a noble quality, or that compromising is the way of life. This is especially prevalent amongst women who think that, as the nurturers of a family unit, they need to prioritize the needs of others. Yet it’s important to realize that if we continue to do this, we’ll eventually crash and burn. There’s nothing selfish about putting our interests first, because if we don’t, we can’t be fully present and express generosity to others.
Remember that your life matters and your mission is to share all that you have to offer to the world. You can only do this if you allow the most authentic part of your being to come out within a fully-expressed life.
All my best on your journey,
Seline
Question for you: Are you currently living life on your own terms? If not, what are the major things that are blocking you from doing so?
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Yes, yes and yes! Loved what you said about roadblocks. I think people really underestimate how much their sacrifice can actually be their biggest obstacle.
-Shreya
http://www.shreyayn.com/blog
Hi Shreya, thanks for your comment. Yes indeed, I have seen it happen very often which is why I’m trying to make people more conscious of this defective pattern.