The definition of physical beauty has constantly shifted between era’s and cultures, yet there’s no denying that the desire to be physically attractive has continued to be a strong driving force in our world.
For this reason, the beauty and fitness industry are two of the most lucrative industries. Advertisers do their best to tap into this deep-seated desire to look attractive both in men and women. Powerful imagery and clever messaging are used to convince consumers that certain services and products will give them luminous skin, luscious hair or a skinnier and more toned body.
Why are so many people easy prey for all theses manipulative (often false!) marketing promises?
It’s because of this prevailing need to be considered physically attractive, which originates from one of our most fundamental psychological needs and that is the need to be accepted or to belong.
All our lives we have been programmed to believe that the easiest way to gain instant approval is by looking good. Human beings are very visual creatures, so this comes as no surprise. In fact studies have shown that we have a natural tendency to like someone or associate more positive qualities to someone we consider attractive than someone we don’t. This is called the “Halo Effect”.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with the desire to look good. I myself love getting glam’d up and critiquing celebrity outfits once in a while! The problem arises when we attach our sense of self-worth to how much attention we are receiving from others because of our physical appearances.
If you suspect that this is a driving force within you, you really need to do soul-searching. Try to figure out where your insecurities originate from and how you can begin making a shift towards a healthier self-image.
Because the truth is, if you keep chasing aesthetic perfection to please others, you are never going to experience a sense of internal peace that comes from genuine self-acceptance.
We have to accept that we can’t control what others think and when something as fragile as your self-esteem is attached to something that’s completely out of your hands, you will always be in a constant state of uneasiness and anxiety. In other words, you will become an insecure wreck!
To save yourself from walking down this path of self-inflicted pain, I want you to begin opening up to a new perspective on beauty and attractiveness.
Begin seeing authentic beauty as a result of three things:
1- Confidence that comes from loving and accepting ourselves no matter what others think.
2- Treating others with kindness and respect.
3- Shifting from our constant focus on ego-based desires to making a unique contribution to the world.
Truly beautiful people know that their beauty has nothing to do with how they look on the outside and everything to do with who they are on the inside. Their focus is not on getting more to feel better, but giving more so that they can make others feel better.
They are not walking divas with an air of snobbery and a sense of entitlement. They exude warmth and friendliness while looking out for opportunities to befriend and help others. Their humility and respect for others becomes apparent in how they conduct themselves with everyone that they meet from waiters to CEOs.
I’ve seen that truly beautiful women are kind, graceful and confident, not because of being driven by this need for acceptance, but by a need to bring happiness and joy wherever they go.
This quote is from one of the most truly beautiful women that existed, Audrey Hepburn eloquently sums it up:
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
I can assure you that by working on cultivating your inner beauty, you will develop a sense of authentic spiritual power that no beauty product or service can ever give you!
All my best on your journey,
Question for you: What does being attractive and beautiful mean to you? What can you do to cultivate your inner beauty?
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