What are Conscious Partnerships and How to Create Them

Conscious partnerships are special intimate relationships between equals who walk hand in hand on the path to both individual and collective growth as a couple. To attract conscious partnerships, you must become conscious yourself. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, keep these five characteristics of conscious partnership in mind when looking to raise the vibration of your connections. (Estimated reading time: 7 minutes)

Every relationship provides an opportunity for growth. Intimate partnerships, however, are fertile ground for the shoots of consciousness to sprout and bring us closer to our purpose.

The people we allow to step through the doorway of our hearts have access to deep and unseen parts of us that we may not have even been aware of. Whether it’s hurtful words that trigger our insecurities, or thoughtful gestures that fill us with affection, everything that was once hidden comes into full view.

There’s no escaping the lessons that come with relationships. The more self-aware we are, the easier it is to navigate through relationship minefields and reach an elevated form of love.

A higher octave of love

Because of the potency of love, many sages and philosophers viewed it as a gateway to higher realms of consciousness. 13th-century Persian poet and Sufi mystic, Rumi, is known for his beautiful verses on the inspiration that an expression of a higher octave of love brings.

He writes:

“The power of love came into me,

and I became fierce like a lion,

then tender like the evening star.”

For Rumi, the deepest form of love involves walking away from the selfish impulses of the ego and embracing the alchemy of a spiritual union. By making this shift, the love we find in our partnership will express itself through melody, kindness, and art.

In another verse, he writes:

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”

The love that Rumi speaks of is paradigm shifting. It transforms, elevates, and inspires you to be a better person. This is the essence of conscious partnerships – a special kind of intimate relationship created by two people who intentionally choose each other to promote growth, safety, healing, and to become whole in their partnership.

Many people don’t view partnerships in this way. They see relationships as a way to meet their needs rather than as vehicles to support their evolution. In this way, the collective intention to create conscious partnerships fades into oblivion.

The old paradigm of partnerships

Getting seriously coupled up or married is a rite of passage common to all of us. We inherit this social script as we are indoctrinated into society.

All that we’re told to do is to “find a nice spouse, settle down, and have kids,” creating the appearance of something as simple and prosaic as picking up an item at a grocery store.

Society hints that the purpose of a partnership is to meet our basic needs for companionship, security, physical intimacy, and reproduction. For most of human history (and even in some modern cultures), these are the main (and only) drivers for people to get married.

The icing on the relationship cake would be the inclusion of ego-driven criteria like physical attractiveness, social status, intelligence, and financial prosperity. This is usually prevalent in more open cultures and the wealthier strata of the population. 

Besides convenience and ego, there’s another big reason why simplicity and shallowness define the foundation of most modern relationships: forming conscious partnerships is hard work!

To attract conscious partnerships, you must become conscious yourself. And for most people, the inner work that goes into it is a scary and complex process they prefer to do without.

It’s easier to be in a “safe” and conventional relationship that doesn’t demand much from them.  Even worse, people will often stay in a relationship that is hurting them because they’re too afraid of leaving.  

Becoming a conscious co-creator of love

It takes a special kind of person to cultivate an inner world that can ignite a conscious-driven dynamic in a connection. They must then seek someone who is on the same wavelength, rather than someone who just looks good on paper.

Far from being idyllic, conscious partnerships demand brutal honesty. We must be relentless in our pursuit of spiritual maturation. This involves facing our demons and releasing any falsehoods that we buy into, as well as staying loyal to our pursuit of truth.

People who are rigorous in their personal development and integrity are said to have a high “consciousness quotient”, a term coined by clinical psychologist, Dr. Shefali, which measures how much self-awareness a person has.

In her book, “A Radical Awakening,” she writes:

“The qualities of empathy, compassion, activism, and interconnectivity are not universal qualities in people. They are qualities that are unique to those with a certain level of consciousness. It takes intelligence, willingness, and a high degree of emotional integration to exhibit such qualities. This self-awareness doesn’t emerge in a void. It’s something we cultivate on a daily basis.”

Investing our emotions into such a rigorous pursuit, understandably, doesn’t sound like a fun prospect. It’s far from the romantic narratives we’ve been fed by movies and fairytales that we use as guides to find the promised land of love.

The good news is that if we stay committed to the path of growth and do the work, the investment we make will pay off with great reward. We’ll experience the magic and beauty that characterizes the rare kind of love that only two conscious partners share. 

Relationships that serve a higher calling

A conscious partnership is a union between equals who walk hand in hand on the path to their individual and collective growth as a couple. Together, they create a life with more meaning and less emptiness, more bliss and less pain, more love and less fear.

When two partners work in unison, both experience a boost in their emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth. It encourages them to break out of the mold and become the highest version of themselves. The chemistry between them comes from sharing similar soul missions and seeing the world through a similar existential lens.

A connection like this has a transcendent quality because both partners are meant to come together to serve a higher purpose. Couples like this often end up making significant contributions to the world. They channel the love between them into projects and campaigns that raise awareness in the world or improve conditions.

Classic examples of conscious partnerships are Coretta Scott and Martin Luther King. Jr., and Marie and Pierre Curie. Couples who lose children to disease or accidents and start awareness campaigns personify this too.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, keep these five characteristics of conscious partnership in mind when looking to raise the vibration in your connections:

1. They seek to empower each other, not fix their partner

Conscious partners don’t try to make each other fit into their mold of perfection. Instead, they accept each other for who they are and empower them so that they can reach their highest potential. Both are committed to lifelong learning and personal growth and support each other in their individual pursuits, goals, and interests.

2. Each partner is committed to doing their own inner work and takes responsibility for their healing

Conscious couples are willing to look at their own patterns and belief systems that could have a negative impact on the connection. They take responsibility for their dysfunctions and unaddressed wounds that might trigger or hurt them. Maintaining emotional health gives them the ability to handle any rough patches and disagreements.

3. Both know that the purpose of the relationship is love and growth

A conscious relationship is centered on the practice of love. Both partners love themselves; they love each other, and they extend that love to the rest of the world. The purpose of the partnership goes beyond satisfying personal needs. There’s an altruistic undercurrent they generate together, and this helps reach both their soul mission and purpose.

4. There’s no attachment to expectations

Conscious couples don’t try to control and possess each other because it stifles growth and limits their ability to function as healthy individuals. Clinginess due to fixed expectations about how the relationship should function can cause a partner to feel caged and resentful. Conscious partners know that loosening their grip is not a sign that they don’t care, but that they trust each other and value freedom and happiness over power and dominion.

5. There is open communication about feelings and a willingness to be vulnerable

Conscious partnerships offer a safe space for people to be honest about what they are and what they feel. There’s a clear channel of communication that each partner uses to communicate their needs and desires and invite their partner to do the same.

A willingness to be vulnerable with each other makes them comfortable enough to be seen for who they truly are and reveal parts of themselves that can be hard to share. These exchanges increase the love and respect between them. 

Conscious partnerships challenge you to go the distance. When you look at the process from a place of love with positive anticipation, both you and your person will bloom like flowers in springtime, releasing your sweet fragrance and beauty for the rest of the world to enjoy.

All my best on your journey,

Seline

Question for you: Does the idea of conscious partnerships appeal to you? If yes, what are you willing to do to manifest this connection in your life?

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